Every year I like to make a many New Year's resolutions, they're fun and festive and really get you motivated to have your "best year yet". But I feel like I do them a bit differently than most. I like to make a mixture of incredibly easy to incredibly hard to accomplish resolutions, that way even if I don't accomplish as much as I hoped, I at least crossed some things off the list. With this in mind, here are my resolutions for 2017.

#1. Have this baby!

Because no one wants to be pregnant forever.

#2. Breastfeed for (at least) 6 Months

I can't wait to experience this for both me and our little boy. It's something I had very little time to do with Audrey (approx. 10 days of exclusive pumping followed by 2 failed days of exclusively breastfeeding) so I'm excited to experience another breastfeeding journey. One that hopefully turns out a bit easier.

#3. Lose (most of) the Baby Weight

This might seem like a big one to most people, but I tend to shed about 50% of my baby weight passively within a couple weeks after labor and delivery. Please don't hate me, I just gain a lot of water weight and have big babies. With that being said, I think losing 15-20 pounds over 9 months (after the baby is born) isn't that unrealistic when you count in breastfeeding and the next resolution I'll be sharing with you. 

#4. Eat Cleaner with More Fruits and Veggies

They say about 80% of your body's overall health is attributed to the type of food and amount of which you eat. I'll admit, I find it very hard to work out while pregnant (I'm at once about every two weeks at the moment) and I know it's going to be even harder once the baby comes. The more research I did, the more strongly I felt that I could make a huge difference in my overall health without "trying to workout more" (because we all know that probably isn't going to happen) and by putting a lot of effort into eating better instead. 

#5. Be More Present When I'm With My Kid(s)

This is something I especially struggle with while attempting to be a work at home mom. I feel like so many days go by that I know I spent time parenting Audrey but most of the time I was on my phone, iPad or laptop and not actually "there" with her. As I'm writing this even, she's running around me watching Sofia the First and eating Cheerios. I really want to focus on setting down all of the technology more while I'm with her and actually spending quality time with her. Worrying less about whether or not she's simply safe where she is but more about if she also has someone there to engage with and is actually having fun.

#6. Find a Better Work/Life Balance

This may seem like it contradicts the last resolution I made, but let me explain. Right now I feel like I'm in a constant state of multitasking. I feel like I spend the whole day half watching Audrey/half working on my YouTube and blog. It's making me feel like I'm only half-a**ing both, to be honest with you. I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to execute this yet, but I really want my time during the day to become more clearly definitely. I want to sit down and put time and effort solely into my work and then put it all away and focus solely on being a great mom. Like I said, I have not fully worked out a plan behind this yet. It may include me doing more work after Audrey goes to bed, my husband helping out more, us going back to having a babysitter a day or two a week or a mixture of all of the above. All I know is, I really want everyone to get more time dedicated solely to them.

#7. Drink More Water

Doesn't everyone always want that?

#8. Date My Husband More Often
Not to brag, but I feel like "dating your spouse" is already something my husband and I aren't too shabby at. But like anything, it could use some improvement. Right now we aim for about 1-2 dates a month and the dates have become shorter and shorter over the last few months (usually becoming a short trip to Starbucks instead of the dinner or movie night we had planned). This year, I really want to get back to the once a week date nights we were so great with even this time last year and aim for actual dates, not just little trips out we try to justify as such. Both of us believe that our relationship is the basis for our whole family and with our next little baby's due date quickly approaching, some quality time together could do us good.


What are your New Year's resolutions for 2017? What are some of your goals? I wish you all a better year coming than the one before! I for one, am welcoming 2017 with open arms.

Looking back on 2016, it seems to be a year with more downs than ups for my family. Although our year hasn't been all bad, we did get married this year and get pregnant with our rainbow baby, there seems to be a lot more cloudy days than sunny days if you get my drift. We have had a miscarriage this year, my husband, Laine, has been laid off 3 times (including once the day before our wedding), we've had our credit card stolen multiple times, too much family drama to even be considered reasonable, many financial setbacks and extra hurdles added to just about everything we try to accomplish in general. Because I like looking on the positive side, though, I have decided to take a look back through this year and share the lessons that can only be learned from going through these hardships. 

#1. Every Thing Will Eventually Pass

Just like your teachers told you growing up, so much that it became a cliche, everything will eventually pass. Every stage of your life, every good time and bad, you will eventually move on from. After miscarrying our second baby this spring, I couldn't even fathom how I was going to get through it. I remember sitting in the hospital, pretending to listen to the insensitive doctor I was assigned to ramble on and wondering how I would make it through this. How I would get through that hour or that day. I cried all that day and night. So hard that I had sores underneath my eyes. I woke up the next morning, after getting about 2 hours of sleep, and my first thought was "I did it". I had made it through that day. Things didn't get easier for a while, a good month or so passed before I even really felt like a version of myself again. It took months before I could think about it without feeling all of the sadness that came with thinking of them. But now, almost 9 months later, I can honestly say it doesn't hurt anymore. It has "passed". This is also something I've realized with our financial "good times" this year. We've had a few collections of months this year where things were going really well financially (until Laine eventually got laid off and we plummeted down to struggling once more). The good times pass just like the bad. So this year more than any before, we've been shown to enjoy the good when you can get it and weather the bad because it will eventually pass as well.

#2. Money is Just Money

Let me start by saying, I think being stressed when bills are coming in that you can't pay or are past due is a completely normal reaction. Over this past year (or couple of years really), with such a surplus of financial setbacks, it has allowed me to see things for exactly what they are. No matter how threatening a phone call or letter might seem, no matter what you might have to sacrifice or lose, everything will be okay. I know this might seem like a tall order when you're getting calls from the bailiff who's going to come take back your car or one to inform you that you're thisclose to being kicked out of your home (trust me, I've been there) but in the end, there is a solution to everything. No, it won't be ideal circumstances but it definitely won't be as bad as your fears will make you believe. If you let it, financial struggles can take over your entire life, cause deep depression and stress or possibly break up your marriage. Having such a large amount of struggle has really caused not just myself but my husband as well to really see things in a new light. Now every time a bill comes in that we are struggling to or can't pay, we look at it differently than we once did. Yes, they want money from us, everyone seems to want money from us. They're not going to knock down the door and kill us for it. We simply make a plan and a backup plan (and usually even a backup to the backup plan) and if all of those fall through, we know we still have each other. We still have our kids and our family and we will figure it all out together. We never agreed to sign over our happiness as collateral on those bills. With this thinking, we've been able to handle even some of our hardest financial struggles with very little stress and a smile still on our faces. Which to me, makes it possibly the best lesson we've learned.

#3. Your Wedding Day Doesn't Have to Be Perfect, It's the Marriage that Matters

In the months leading up to our wedding, Laine and I seemed to run into setback after setback in the finances department. Because of this, just about every single aspect of our wedding was down-sized and in some ways, not the way we would have wanted it. In the days before, I remember praying that everything would come together on the day of and everything would be perfect. The truth is, it didn't. Everything didn't magically come together because there was no possible way for that to happen. In the days after the wedding, I remember being so upset because this was my only wedding day. There was no way to go back and change it. I even regretted not pushing the date back to have more time to make everything perfect. About a week after the wedding, I was talking to Laine about how that day had went and it really dawned on me that it doesn't matter if your wedding was fit for TV. In 20 years, we're not going to remember the sub pare candy bar or not so great photography. We're going to remember the way we felt that day, our vows, hopefully, most of our wedding night and how we've felt about each other every day since. The details of your wedding day mean barely anything when measured up to the meaning of your marriage itself. The start of our marriage is without a doubt the best part of our wedding day and I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. Until our 25-year vow renewal anyway, then I'll be going ALL out.

#4. You Can't Please Everybody

There were many encounters with different family members this year that left me wanting to rip my hair out. I have been a people pleaser my whole life and the idea of not being able to make everyone happy legitimately gives me anxiety at times (I know it shouldn't, but it does). With these family members, it seemed like the harder I would try to please them, the more they hated me. When everything from their end was finally laid out on the table this fall, that they hated me more now than they ever did, it truly was my breaking point. I remember crying and being so stressed out for weeks because I honestly couldn't fathom why people who I was supposed to be so close with seemed to hate me more and more with each attempt I made to try and please them. It truly made me realize that you can't please everyone, regardless of your effort. This was something I'd always had a good sense about with strangers through my years of making videos on the internet but I never even thought would come into play with family. Some people would rather come to their own conclusions about you or believe assumptions or rumors rather than try to like you. That's simply the way it is. You can't make up anyone else's mind for them and that is perfectly okay. If all of the family drama in 2016 has taught me anything, it's that you can't spend your whole life worried about how happy someone else is. There comes a point where you simply have to walk away and focus more on making yourself and those closest to you happy instead. For your own sanity.


#5. YOU Actually Matter

2016 marks my first full year as a mom and this is a lesson I have had to learn this year for my own sanity. As a mom, it is so incredibly easy to put your kids and husband first and second on the priority list and leave yourself at somewhere around #23. But constantly being the last one to be taken care of, can make you a worse mom than a better one. It's taken a while for me to not only realise how necessary it is but practice it as well (even if it is for only 15 minutes once a week). Especially if you have younger children who aren't yet able to appreciate you, you need to appreciate yourself and acknowledge all of the great things you do for your family every single day. Your needs deserve to come before other people's wants, that's something I try to never forget. I also have decided to make it a practice to do or buy something I simply want at least once a week, just for me. Because I know I deserve it and that at least every once in a while, my wants deserve to be recognised. I would recommend it to anybody and can easily say it has made me a better mom. So take that bath or a nap, buy that lipstick or go out for a drink with a friend. You deserve it and you'll be a better mom and wife (or partner) in the end for doing so!

This year, I was blessed with so many gifts from my loved ones. Since I'm such a nosey person and I'm almost addicted to watching these videos myself, this year I decided to share what I received for Christmas. Click on the video below to see everything I received! Merry Christmas!

Today on my YouTube channel, I posted a video showing you all what will be in my toddler's stocking this year. This Christmas will be my daughter, Audrey's, second and I have to admit, it was a little harder than I thought it would be putting her stocking together. Now that it's all ready for the big day, I thought I would share it with you all. This way, if any of you are still scrambling for ideas, it might help some of you out as well as for memories for my family to look back on for years to come. I hope you all enjoyed the video and that it was somewhat helpful. Merry Christmas!

To save money on the photography for our wedding, we decided to go with a reduced package. With it, we got just the raw photos for us to edit ourselves but we would have all rights to the photos. At the time, it seemed like a great deal (as it saved us a few hundred dollars) and like it would be easy seeing as Laine and I are both well versed in photo editing software. What we didn't account for was us getting the time to actually getting around to going through the memory cards to sort out the good, the okay and the bad and actually editing the photos.

We got married in July, as some of you might know, but it was only about 3 months ago that we actually got around to looking through the memory cards to find out exactly what we had. Which turns out, wasn't much. Many photos were not the best quality, had someone's mouth open or eyes shut or were of distant family members or their dates. We're also pretty sure a memory card was lost or not given to us at some point as we had almost no pictures of Laine with his groomsmen, either of us getting ready or Laine with his parents. All of which we remember taking but at this point, it's all we can do. I finally got around to sitting down to edit them this week and in the end, we are very pleased with the photos we do have. It was such a special day and we are very grateful to have some nice photos to remember the day.

I like to start most days with putting on a little bit of makeup to give myself a little confidence boost for the day. Unlike years before, however, I no longer have a full hour every morning to devote solely to "putting on my face" now that I'm a mom. So today, I thought I'd share with you all my everyday makeup routine as well as some time saving tips. If you would like to see the full tutorial, it will be at the bottom of this post. I thought I would share with you all here some exclusive tips that I've found that can save you time in the morning.

#1. In a rush? Pick one product for each area of the face (base, brows, eyes, cheeks and lips) to give you a balanced, simple and pretty 5 minute (or less) face.

#2. Need to quickly make your everyday look into a glam evening look? Pick one area of the face and go really bold. For example, swipe on a bright lipstick or take 2 minutes to do sultry winged liner. It'll give you a glam, put-together look in minutes. 

#3. Focus on skincare. It might seem like a useless tip in the moment, as you're trying to quickly get ready but investing the time in skin care can leave you feeling like you need less makeup. Plus, who doesn't love having great skin?

#4. Declutter! If you are trying to get ready quickly, keeping a small makeup bag with only your everyday essentials inside or cleaning off your vanity and leaving only the basic items behind can cut down on time. Simply by not having to rummage through multiple products you don't need can shave a couple minutes off of your getting ready time.

I hope you enjoyed the tips! Make sure to watch the video below for the full Get Ready With Me/tutorial.

I know this is going to sound like a total cliche so I might as well just come out and say it, my mom has always made the BEST chocolate chip cookies. Yes, I am fully aware that everyone says that and I know that about 90% of the time those claims are far from true. But according to me, everyone from my hometown that bought the Girl Guide cookbook about 12 years ago and everyone that has had the privilege of tasting them, they are the best. 

So when I got into my first serious relationship about 5 years back and wanted to bake him some cookies as a treat, I decided to scour the internet to try to see if I could find an even better recipe (in classic teenage fashion). After baking about 5 different batches based on recipes that were all claiming to be the best and most tasting so bad we couldn't even stand to eat them all, I remember asking my mother "what is it that makes your cookies so good?" and she simply said it was her secret ingredient. One stubborn teenager coming to her senses and a batch of cookies later, I found the perfect cookies to give to my boyfriend (who probably dumped me a couple weeks later anyway). I've been using and hoarding her recipe on several different platforms, as to never lose it, ever since. I thought it was about time I shared it.

The recipe goes as follows:

Ingredients

2 1/2 cups Flour

1 tsp. Baking Soda

1 cup Butter

1/4 cup Sugar or Splenda

3/4 cup Brown Sugar

1 tsp. Vanilla Extract

2 Eggs

1 pkg. Chocolate Chips (Any Kind)

And the secret ingredient...

1 pkg. Instant Vanilla Pudding Mix

Pre-heat the oven to 350° F (or 175° C). In a small mixing bowl, sift flour and baking soda together then set aside. Combine butter, sugars, vanilla extract and the pudding mix in a large mixing bowl until creamy. Beat in eggs (an electric mixer works best). Gradually add in flour mix to the large mixing bowl until all is well combined. Stir in chocolate chips. Roll into teaspoon sized balls, flatten them slightly and place them approximately 1 inch apart on a lightly greased or parchment paper lined cookie sheet. Bake for 8-12 minutes. Makes 24 (or 2 dozen) cookies.

There must be something about the pudding mix that sets these apart but all I can say is that my family absolutely loves them. They're the best we've ever tried and this is a recipe I will be using for years to come. Now if I can only find a way to make them last for more than a couple of days in this house.

(Photo Credit: Dempeaux.com, foxyvoxy.com and Glambot.com)

You will often hear YouTubers and bloggers talk about products they regret buying. Whether it be a great ad, a friend's great recommendation or a well-produced review video, if you are the type of person who enjoys buying makeup and practically collecting like myself, you're going to come across products that make you think "Why the heck did I buy this?". I myself have made a few videos on the topic. 

Something I have never shared, though, is the products I regret not buying. I have personally been following the beauty community for about 8-9 years now, starting in my early preteen years. Over this time I have seen many products be discontinued, sell-out or move past their limited edition window and because of price point, the lack of a credit card at the time, or simply not jumping on the bandwagon fast enough I end up not purchasing them. For most products, after a couple of weeks, I never think again about the "missed opportunity" but for a slight few, I have searched high and low and still think about them years later. For some, it is to the point that I have considered spending 10x the original price for them on eBay. Here's my list of my products I regret not buying.

(Photo Credit: Dempeaux.com)

#1. Urban Decay Alice In Wonderland Book of Shadows Palette (LE January 2010)

I remember all of the excitement surrounding this palette when it first came out. I remember watching every review, swatch and tutorial video on it that was released by my favorite beauty gurus on Youtube. This palette was absolute perfection in every way back then and even now I have to say it is an extremely gorgeous palette. The artwork, packaging, and the product all look amazing. I remember it being the first high-end beauty product I ever truly wanted with a passion. At the time I remember begging my parents for this palette (as I was still in my early teens/pre-teens), even offering to give up months of allowance and chore money for it. But they were still trying to wrap their heads around online shopping themselves, and the idea of their teenage daughter needing a makeup product that was over $20 (let alone the over $60 price tag it came with) was absurd to them. They didn't understand the reasoning behind high-end makeup as a whole and to be honest, even after witnessing the true addiction I've had for it the last 8-9 years they still don't really understand it. Happier that they are no longer the ones being asked to foot the bill, but still not really understanding why I would. So trying to justify the whole high-end beauty industry to get the palette I wanted so a bit too much for little barely teenage me. For years after this palette was released, I scoured the internet high and low for it (especially after I got my own visa debit and discovered Pay Pal). Even as recently as 2014, I was still putting out feelers for the opportunity to buy this palette new or even used. I have come to the point now (almost 7 years after the palette was released) that I can honestly say I don't feel like I need this palette anymore. There are many other palettes out now with similar colors and I'm not as adventurous with my eyeshadow color selection as I once was. But for a long time, this was at the top of my list.

(Photo Credit: foxyvoxy.com)

#2. MAC Gel Blush in Just A Pinch (LE April 2009)

This was the first and last gel blush I have seen MAC release, which I find to be a little odd from all of the amazing reviews I heard about it at the time. This was released back at the beginning of my makeup obsession days in 2009 as a part of the A Rose Romance collection. MAC releases different limited edition collections every couple of months and they only stick around for about a month at a time or until the products sell out. Every big Youtuber and blogger at the time were doing reviews and hauls featuring this blush, I specifically remember seeing videos from JuicyStar07 and AllThatGlitters21 talking about it. At the time I completely passed over it, seeing it as nothing special. It wasn't until a couple years later (when I was rewatching an old video) that this product was brought back to my attention. It was basically a gel blush stain in a beautiful red color that gave a natural flush to the cheeks. It was basically a solid, easier to blend out Benetint. I remember scouring the internet once again trying to find it, it wasn't even being sold on eBay for a ridiculous price. It was legitimately nowhere to be found anymore. I still to this day wish they would rerelease this or even the gel blush formula in a different color. I would snap that up like nobody's business.

(Photo Credit: lookfantastic.com)

#3. Benefit Silky Finish Lipstick in Good to Go and Ms. Behavin (Discontinued 2013)

I remember after the Twilight movie came out in 2008, some of the beauty gurus I was watching at the time started raving about these lipsticks because these were the ones used on the actors in the movie. I paid zero attention to it at the time because "I hated twilight", not so much because I'd watched the movie or read the books to form my own opinion on them but because the young teenage boys at my school hated twilight, therefore I hated it (teenage girls, what can you do). A few years later, in 2013, I was watching the movie with a friend a realized I absolutely loved the lip color on actors and actresses in the movie. I had remembered seeing it mentioned in a video so I went back and rewatched it to find the exact color, only to find out that the whole line of lipsticks had been discontinued just a few months back. I am still to this day trying to find great dupes of them.



I hope you all of enjoyed hearing some of my biggest regrets when it comes to not purchasing makeup. Are there any products you wish you could go back in time and purchase? If so, tell me down in the comments below.

I find it hard to believe some days that I am only a few weeks away from the third trimester with this pregnancy. It has been such a gift for which I will always be grateful, as I was with my first as well. Though, not everything you experience during your first and consecutive pregnancies is the same. I thought I'd share with you all my top 5 differences that I have found between this pregnancy and my first.

#1. You Find Out What Being Tired and Pregnant Actually Feels Like

Something I remember so clearly about my first pregnancy with my daughter Audrey is constantly being tired and complaining about being so. Now the idea of how "tired" I was at that time is laughable. Yes, I was tired, like most pregnant women are for a wide variety of reasons. At the time, though, I had stopped working at 20 weeks during my pregnancy with her so other than the multiple bathroom trips, a couple of chores and a scatter outing, I spent the entirety of every day lying down and relaxing. An opportunity I would kill for this time around. With this pregnancy, I've learned that my new reality is being exhausted from the moment I wake up in the morning to the time I lay my head down on the pillow each night. Between a teething toddler who loves to throw tantrums and get into everything possible, a marriage and a Youtube channel (and now blog) to run, there's barely any extra time in the day to use the bathroom, let alone relax.

#2. You Understand What's Going on Inside Your Body

With my first pregnancy, every little pain or uncomfortable feeling was cause for concern to me. I remember at 7 weeks rushing to the ER department with sharp stomach pains to find out they were only bad gas pains. From that point on, Google and every baby app and book became my one stop shop for every little bothersome feeling. With that experience under my belt, I've become a lot more in tune with my body. This time around I was able to feel his little kicks and movements sooner because I actually knew what they felt like, but I was also able to decipher normal pregnancy aches and pains from worrisome ones. Being through this whole shebang before gives you more insight into what's going on with your baby and body during pregnancy than every parenting book combined. 

#3. Your Partner Knows Exactly What to Expect

Every woman reacts to pregnancy differently. For me personally, I tend to get crazy hormonal, have lots of mood swings and have a strong NEED for extra personal space. It only makes sense that when your partner sees their normally perfectly composed wife crying on the floor because she dropped the last bagel for the first time, they get a little freaked out. For your partner, pregnancy is a constant guessing game. When all they're trying to do is make you happy and that's changing day to day (or hour to hour) it can become overwhelming. By the time your second (or third) baby comes along, your partner has already had a front row seat to this all before. They know how you and your body react to pregnancy and they should have a pretty good idea of how to confront anything your pregnant self should throw at them (not literally, hopefully). In my experience, this can be a bit of a disadvantage as well. Because your partner has seen you go through this all before, it can cause them to sometimes see things as less crucial than the first time around. For instance, my husband can often brush off me being upset about something because from his experience he knows this is mostly just hormones and everything will usually pass. For me, though, everything is just as intense. If your partner is having a similar issue, make sure you take the time to simply explain your feelings. I'm sure they'd be more than happy to try and keep you as comfortable and happy as possible during your pregnancy.

#4. Your Pregnancy Isn't Your Entire Life

I feel like this is something that only having kid(s) at home already will teach you. You will often hear second (or third) time moms say that their pregnancy is just "flying by" and I feel like this has a lot to do with how much focus you have on other areas of your life when it comes to a consecutive pregnancy. During my first pregnancy, I remember being able to recount exactly how many weeks and days pregnant I was to anyone how asked. I would wake up every morning, make my coffee and change how far along I was on a little chalkboard I had in my kitchen. I was so obsessed with my pregnancy that it made my pregnancy really drag on. I remember every week felt like it took a year to pass, in fact when I went for my first ultrasound and they told me they would have to push back my due date by almost a week, I legitimately sobbed. I felt like I was so ready to already have my baby, that my pregnancy took over my entire life. Now with a toddler already at home, I wouldn't have the option to be so absorbed in my pregnancy the same way, even if I wanted to. I have to say, though, I am truly glad this pregnancy is "flying by". Looking back, being so obsessed with my pregnancy wasn't good for me mentally and only ever wanting to talk about the baby put a stress I didn't even notice at the time on my relationship. I can't say being so involved in your first pregnancy is necessarily a bad thing as I'm pretty sure every first-time mom is the same way. I'm just saying I wouldn't go back to the way that pregnancy felt versus the way I've been feeling this time around if someone paid me.

#5. You've Come to the Realization That You Will Never Be the Same

I remember during my first pregnancy spending so much time worrying if I would go "back to normal". Being only 18 when I became pregnant for the first time, I worried so much about always having a "mom's body" from this point out. If I would every get my tiny waist or perky boobs back. If I would ever again look down at my stomach and not see dozens of stretch marks. If I would ever feel like myself again, if I would keep up with the habit of getting fully ready every day, even if it is only for my husband. I wish I could just go back and tell myself one word that would have solved it all: NO. No, nothing will ever be the same way it was, and that is perfectly okay. My body will never be the same because of all it has went through, and everything it is still put through on a daily basis. I will never again find the time, energy or justification to spend over 2 hours a day getting my hair and makeup done just to sit around the house every single day. All of that is perfectly fine. I think it goes without saying that now that I have come to terms with all of that, it's no longer a stressor this pregnancy. I've come to a place now that I know that I, my husband and my kids love me regardless of how my body looks or how presentable I am. I know that I will feel like myself again, but it will simply be a different version of myself. One I personally think is an upgrade.

I hope you all enjoyed hearing the top 5 differences I've found between my current pregnancy and my first. Please let me know in the comments below the biggest difference you have found!

I remember my last day of work when I was pregnant with my daughter. I was 20 weeks (I had HG during her pregnancy) and I was beyond ready to be done. I could feel it in my heart that this was the right decision. To stop feeling guilty for calling in sick, to stop the soreness and pure exhaustion I felt at the end of every single day. I was ready to be a stay-at-home mom, forever. As I looked into the mirror this morning getting ready for my first interview after over a year and a half of being that stay-at-home mom, I started to wonder what happened to that feeling. What made me change my mind?

When I first got pregnant with my daughter, Audrey, I believed that being a stay-at-home mom was the best possible decision you could make as your child. As the daughter of two working parents, I remember feeling like I wasn't as much of a priority. As I looked back on my childhood memories, I could recall far more that I had spent with other people (grandparents or babysitters) than my parents. As an adult, I completely understood the reasoning behind why they both had to work (because they wanted everyone to eat) but I still didn't want my children to feel the same way that I had. I didn't want them to remember most of their childhood with other people. I came to the very firm decision that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and I couldn't think of a reason to even justify returning to work. That was until I actually became a stay-at-home mom.

The first few months away from the workforce was a dream. I was still pregnant so most days I spent laying in bed, getting sick when I had to and casually doing a few chores. It felt amazing, like I had so much freedom. Once Audrey arrived I still loved being home with her, I just had a lot more on my plate. After she turned about 6 months old it all started to get to me. The constant sitting around the house, the feeling so unproductive, the infuriating questions about what I did all day even though it felt like I had been through about 3x more physically and emotional stress than if I actually went to work. I felt trapped. I quickly realized that being a stay-at-home mom was extremely hard. You were constantly on the move, cleaning, working through tantrums, fighting your child(ren) on naps. 24/7. And all for zero credit, zero pay, very little appreciation and to still be looked down upon in society.

After coming to this realization, that being a normal stay-at-home just wasn't for me, I didn't really know what to do. I didn't have a degree. I had zero references, as most I had either deleted or they changed their phone numbers in the time I was off. I had little experience and I still was certain I didn't want to go through the process of getting ready for work every day, leaving the house and dealing with a boss. I decided to put more effort into my Youtube channel, to treat it more like a business and to work from home. As a lot of you may know if you follow that channel, that didn't work out too well. I became so obsessive with stats and numbers and viewers opinions. It made me hate the platform I once loved. I loved working from home but trying to force my hobby into a job before I or it were ready was a bad move on my part.

So that brings me to today, the interview I had. I noticed a local business was in search of a social media consultant. With my years of social media experience, I decided to send my resume and media kit in on a whim. I never really thought I would have a chance at it but I ended up being asked for an interview. Although the job ended up not being exactly what I wanted, I think this whole process has taught me a lot. I think it helped me get a better idea of what I want for my future.

As moms, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and to do everything perfectly for our kids. Through this process, I've learned more than anything that if you're not happy, your kids won't be able to be happy, regardless of whether or not you believe you're doing the right thing for them. Our children feed off of our energy. If we're miserable every day, that's all they're going to be able to know as they get older. Sometimes you have to take that leap of faith, to take a chance even if the road might be a little rocky because, in the end, your children will thank you for it. Finding happiness for yourself doesn't make you a bad mom, it actually makes you a good one.

#2. Bravdo Body Silk Seamless Nursing Bra

At this point in pregnancy, regular bras a just not an option anymore. Between swollen breasts and an expanding ribcage, even the thought of wearing a standard underwire bra makes me cringe. Although this might seem like a boring basic, to me this bra would actually be a great gift to receive. This bra line specifically is one of the most praised for their fit and quality when it comes to nursing bras. On the other hand, this quality does come with a price tag to match (an average of $50-$80 CAD a bra) and I could never imagine spending so much on a bra for myself. I would much rather have quality nursing bras over maternity bras because I can get a lot more use from them. With a maternity bra, I would wear it for the next, 3 months whereas a nursing bra I can wear now and also through the (hopefully smooth) nursing journey I have ahead of me.

http://amzn.to/2h8Xj0e (Photo Credit: Bravado)


#3. Mr.Coffee Mug Warmer

I feel like this could be a perfect no-brainer gift for any mom. It's a little miniature hot plate which you can use to reheat your coffee, tea or hot beverage of choice. It heats up your caffeine easily and evenly. To me, this is absolutely brilliant for those days you have to reheat that same mug 4-5 times before you finally finish it (we've all been there moms). It's also one of the most affordable items on my list coming in at only $15 CAD!
http://amzn.to/2h4n8KP (Photo Credit: Mr.Coffee)



#4. A New (CUTE) Duffle Bag

I can't be the only one that's still using their old Nike duffle bag they got about 10 years ago. As an infrequent gym go-er, I rarely dig out my duffle bag unless I'm in dire need of an extra piece of luggage for a trip. Because of this, I've never really thought about replacing it. That is until about a month ago when I started planning out what I'm going to need at the hospital with Baby #2. At that point, I finally looked at my faded, old pink Nike bag (more pinkish-grey at this point) and realized I really need a new one. I thought this print was cute and was at a great price point but honestly, anything that's isn't a different colour than when it was originally purchased will make me happy.

World Traveler 22-Inch Duffle Bag http://amzn.to/2g9XlTK (Photo Credit: World Traveler)



#5. OSTER MyBlend Single Serve Blender

This is another item that might seem fairly boring to some people but to me, this seems like an awesome idea. You can fill your smoothie bottle up with your ice, fruits, veggies, milk or protein powder, screw it right into the base and blend it on up. It's as simple as that! You can also easily purchase extra bottles so you don't have to worry about hand washing the bottle if you want to make multiple smoothies in one day. This is something I think I will find particularly useful after our next baby is born. When Audrey was first born, I would go all day without eating because I was so pre-occupied. With two kids, I know it's going to be double to chaos even with my husband's help. I feel like a nifty little device like this would really give me an easy solution to at least get some nutrients in, especially in those first few sleep-deprived weeks.

http://amzn.to/2gF5Reg (Photo Credit: Oster)


What about you? What are you asking or hoping for this year?