Making the Decision to Work Again After Having Kid(s)
15:59
I remember my last day of work when I was pregnant with my daughter. I was 20 weeks (I had HG during her pregnancy) and I was beyond ready to be done. I could feel it in my heart that this was the right decision. To stop feeling guilty for calling in sick, to stop the soreness and pure exhaustion I felt at the end of every single day. I was ready to be a stay-at-home mom, forever. As I looked into the mirror this morning getting ready for my first interview after over a year and a half of being that stay-at-home mom, I started to wonder what happened to that feeling. What made me change my mind?
When I first got pregnant with my daughter, Audrey, I believed that being a stay-at-home mom was the best possible decision you could make as your child. As the daughter of two working parents, I remember feeling like I wasn't as much of a priority. As I looked back on my childhood memories, I could recall far more that I had spent with other people (grandparents or babysitters) than my parents. As an adult, I completely understood the reasoning behind why they both had to work (because they wanted everyone to eat) but I still didn't want my children to feel the same way that I had. I didn't want them to remember most of their childhood with other people. I came to the very firm decision that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and I couldn't think of a reason to even justify returning to work. That was until I actually became a stay-at-home mom.
The first few months away from the workforce was a dream. I was still pregnant so most days I spent laying in bed, getting sick when I had to and casually doing a few chores. It felt amazing, like I had so much freedom. Once Audrey arrived I still loved being home with her, I just had a lot more on my plate. After she turned about 6 months old it all started to get to me. The constant sitting around the house, the feeling so unproductive, the infuriating questions about what I did all day even though it felt like I had been through about 3x more physically and emotional stress than if I actually went to work. I felt trapped. I quickly realized that being a stay-at-home mom was extremely hard. You were constantly on the move, cleaning, working through tantrums, fighting your child(ren) on naps. 24/7. And all for zero credit, zero pay, very little appreciation and to still be looked down upon in society.
After coming to this realization, that being a normal stay-at-home just wasn't for me, I didn't really know what to do. I didn't have a degree. I had zero references, as most I had either deleted or they changed their phone numbers in the time I was off. I had little experience and I still was certain I didn't want to go through the process of getting ready for work every day, leaving the house and dealing with a boss. I decided to put more effort into my Youtube channel, to treat it more like a business and to work from home. As a lot of you may know if you follow that channel, that didn't work out too well. I became so obsessive with stats and numbers and viewers opinions. It made me hate the platform I once loved. I loved working from home but trying to force my hobby into a job before I or it were ready was a bad move on my part.
So that brings me to today, the interview I had. I noticed a local business was in search of a social media consultant. With my years of social media experience, I decided to send my resume and media kit in on a whim. I never really thought I would have a chance at it but I ended up being asked for an interview. Although the job ended up not being exactly what I wanted, I think this whole process has taught me a lot. I think it helped me get a better idea of what I want for my future.
As moms, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and to do everything perfectly for our kids. Through this process, I've learned more than anything that if you're not happy, your kids won't be able to be happy, regardless of whether or not you believe you're doing the right thing for them. Our children feed off of our energy. If we're miserable every day, that's all they're going to be able to know as they get older. Sometimes you have to take that leap of faith, to take a chance even if the road might be a little rocky because, in the end, your children will thank you for it. Finding happiness for yourself doesn't make you a bad mom, it actually makes you a good one.
The first few months away from the workforce was a dream. I was still pregnant so most days I spent laying in bed, getting sick when I had to and casually doing a few chores. It felt amazing, like I had so much freedom. Once Audrey arrived I still loved being home with her, I just had a lot more on my plate. After she turned about 6 months old it all started to get to me. The constant sitting around the house, the feeling so unproductive, the infuriating questions about what I did all day even though it felt like I had been through about 3x more physically and emotional stress than if I actually went to work. I felt trapped. I quickly realized that being a stay-at-home mom was extremely hard. You were constantly on the move, cleaning, working through tantrums, fighting your child(ren) on naps. 24/7. And all for zero credit, zero pay, very little appreciation and to still be looked down upon in society.
After coming to this realization, that being a normal stay-at-home just wasn't for me, I didn't really know what to do. I didn't have a degree. I had zero references, as most I had either deleted or they changed their phone numbers in the time I was off. I had little experience and I still was certain I didn't want to go through the process of getting ready for work every day, leaving the house and dealing with a boss. I decided to put more effort into my Youtube channel, to treat it more like a business and to work from home. As a lot of you may know if you follow that channel, that didn't work out too well. I became so obsessive with stats and numbers and viewers opinions. It made me hate the platform I once loved. I loved working from home but trying to force my hobby into a job before I or it were ready was a bad move on my part.
So that brings me to today, the interview I had. I noticed a local business was in search of a social media consultant. With my years of social media experience, I decided to send my resume and media kit in on a whim. I never really thought I would have a chance at it but I ended up being asked for an interview. Although the job ended up not being exactly what I wanted, I think this whole process has taught me a lot. I think it helped me get a better idea of what I want for my future.
As moms, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and to do everything perfectly for our kids. Through this process, I've learned more than anything that if you're not happy, your kids won't be able to be happy, regardless of whether or not you believe you're doing the right thing for them. Our children feed off of our energy. If we're miserable every day, that's all they're going to be able to know as they get older. Sometimes you have to take that leap of faith, to take a chance even if the road might be a little rocky because, in the end, your children will thank you for it. Finding happiness for yourself doesn't make you a bad mom, it actually makes you a good one.
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